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pretentious
minimalist title
plus arbitrary
line
returns
equals deep poetry
.
(Please see description.)
I had to reword this, because the first version actually fit a standard poetry format.  GAH!  The whole thing was almost ruined!  I also had to change the title.  I knew to go with a mere punctuation mark for a title to underscore how brief, and therefore deep, my poem is, but I wasn’t sure which one.  I was going to use a semicolon, but I didn’t want it to look half-assed.  So instead, I used the old stand-by: a period.  Fewer pixels equals deeper meaning, right?  Oh, and I avoided capital letters altogether.  Lower case letters make me seem humble, sincere, and relatable, without those pompous upper case letters getting in the way.

I’m looking for a critique on my use of line returns.  I know I need some, because a sentence that’s all on one line is just stupid.  But do you think my poem would be deeper if I stuck closer to the standard of 2 or 3 words per line, or is it more meaningful spread out over 6 lines?  I’m not sure because I haven’t quite mastered the enter key yet.

P.S.

I don't want to give any examples that would insult a particular artist's poetry, but is everyone familiar with the style I'm parodying?
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:iconwlgglytuff:
WlGGLYTUFF Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2015
i think the poet you're referencing pulls this style off nicely, though =P
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:iconraevenous:
Raevenous Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Bahahahaha I approve of this so much
Reply
:iconreyray:
ReyRay Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I love that poet! I genuinely enjoy their poetry. XD
This made me chuckle though, nice parody.
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:iconnabium:
Nabium Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2014
hmm. it's a brilliant and beautiful minimalistic poems :D I'm going to neglect that you're doing a parody and just focus on how lovely a poem it was :nod:

*poke*

^^ but don't you think that tedious minimalistic poetry could be good, if it has some deep and hard to reach meaning or significance? if it's just attempts at being clever, I agree with you.
Reply
:iconbatmanwithbunnyears:
BatmanWithBunnyEars Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2014   General Artist
Virtually any style can be good in the right hands.  But when a whole bunch of people copy it, it starts to look insincere and hackneyed, and even the ones that are done well lose appeal.  It reminds me of the Seinfeld is Unfunny trope.  The innovative things that made Seinfeld great have been repeated so many times that when you go watch an old episode of Seinfeld, it seems hacky and cliche, even though it was new and original when they did it.  It's even worse in the case of these poems, though, since a lot of people use this style to cover up a lack of substance and make their writing seem deeper than it is.
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:iconnabium:
Nabium Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2014
very well said
Reply
:iconbornwiththesun:
BornWithTheSun Featured By Owner May 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I think the titles are most off-putting in this type of poetry. I like titles that are thought-through and intriguing, so one dot as a title just looks lazy. I'm sure it can be well done, but it's not for me.
Reply
:icondenisecroy:
DeniseCroy Featured By Owner May 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
arf arf. 

I find your parody funny, but I must say there are many pieces of minimalist poetry that I do like. That said, it doesn't stop me from enjoying the parody, and your description made me laugh. 
Reply
:iconayeaye12:
AyeAye12 Featured By Owner May 10, 2014  Student Writer
Minimalism in poetry isn't a bad thing, personally. The user I think you're parodying I actually quite like, tbh.
It gets arbitrary like any other thing in any art, though.
Reply
:iconcalicowingedcat:
CalicoWingedCat Featured By Owner May 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm so glad to see somebody making fun of Oa-- *ahem* this particular style.
Reply
:iconecho-of-echo:
Echo-of-Echo Featured By Owner May 10, 2014
At first I thought this was yet another one, haha. Perfect replica.
Reply
:icontarynnefdt:
TarynNefdt Featured By Owner May 10, 2014   Digital Artist
Very clever - I'm not familiar with the poet you are referring to - but the parody is very good.


Style 

You Either Have It 


(or you don't)


I thought I'd try a little parody/mini-haiku of my own
Reply
:iconwei-en:
wei-en Featured By Owner May 9, 2014
Looking for good poetry on the front page is like looking for a pearl in the sewer. It's not impossible - theoretically. But in your search you'll run into a lot of shit. 

I think we all know which particular artist's poetry you're talking about and I'll have you know, their mastery of the minimalist form is much better than any other deviant's use of structured or free verse I've ever seen become popular on this site, ever. Step back.
Reply
:iconwaffles-of-gondolyn:
Waffles-Of-Gondolyn Featured By Owner May 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Now man, that's DEEP. 
Reply
:iconmoaheya:
Moaheya Featured By Owner May 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Some people say that there's no such thing as bad art... which is bollocks of cause. There's plenty of bad art out there in every category and writing is no different.
But to be fair, this is FB for artists and everyone is aloud. It's just a little irritating, as you say, when some mediocre/bad pieces find more credit than they deserve.

Heh. First world problems :)
Reply
:icona-shadow-rose:
A-Shadow-Rose Featured By Owner May 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I see this style quite often, and I've been trying it out to see how it goes (still trying to find my own preference). I have to say, it does make me angry when poems like this show up everywhere and become popular when I've read some that are more deserving. But, that could just be my jealousy or my cynical self just lashing out again. :B Anyway, sometimes they're good. Other times...not so much. They're not all bad. :) But I am glad that you addressed this.
Reply
:iconcow-butt:
Cow-Butt Featured By Owner May 9, 2014
I've been wanting to comment about that thing that people do and I see every that crap everyday on the front page.

Honestly, I feel like it's all bad poetry. I'm fine with Free Verse, but it really seems little to no thought was put into it besides, "damn, I sound deep."  Good poetry can give you imagery or have a deeper meaning. Nothing's all the that deep when you're ultra vague about it.  Gives people nothing to think about. 
Reply
:iconbatmanwithbunnyears:
BatmanWithBunnyEars Featured By Owner May 9, 2014   General Artist
My thoughts exactly.  When I see something ultra vague with a bunch of comments about how "deep" it is, I'm tempted to ask, "If it's so deep, then what did you learn about yourself or the universe around you?  How, specifically, did it change your outlook?"  Perhaps I'm being too cynical, but I sense a naked emperor.
Reply
:iconinsomniaplague:
insomniaplague Featured By Owner May 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
All these people acting as if brevity is spoon-feeding. 

Please, an epic may be nonsense; a sonnet may rip out every bit of humanity in you. It's quality, not quantity. 

However, your parody does make a good point. Some people do, with a spark of wisdom, slather a few vague words on the screen and make it to the front page. I prefer to that god-awful "poetry" that ends up here somethings, though (you know, the kind that rips a topic from the front burner, puts in a few line breaks, and posts it.) 
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:iconsnowsultan:
SnowSultan Featured By Owner May 9, 2014   Digital Artist
they also
always make
the front
page
of
deviantart
.


;)
Reply
:iconitaliaemo:
ItaliaEmo Featured By Owner May 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for saying what needed to be said. I absolutely disdain poetry in the likeness of your parody. Such pieces appear to me as the lazy works of wannabes, desperate for attention but unwilling to put in the necessary effort to make one worthy of it.

Poetry is often shorter than prose, but the ideas presented in one should be no lesser than another. The trend towards short, pitifully empty pieces of poetry is disquieting, and casts a shadow over the medium as a whole. Thank you for your satire, haha!(:
Reply
:iconfritob:
FritoB Featured By Owner May 9, 2014
Yes. Extra crisp. Wan. Dripping in everything it's not. The IKEA of poetry. Delicate spoonfuls of the human condition.

I do believe there is a time and place for the work in question. It is very good work when it's good. I admire it when it surprises me, which it does most of the time. It may not be entirely for me, though. My work is a mess, lacks direction, and isn't for everyone either.

I do appreciate that we can parody each other without intent to harm. This is what I appreciate about ^this. Thank you. I think we need to inspire each other to be bolder and more liberal with our mess.

Thank you for saying it.
Reply
:iconcyranodebluefield:
CyranoDeBluefield Featured By Owner May 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I saw something similar on the front page earlier, and as someone who enjoys writing structured poems more so than free verse, I was a bit disdained.
"Oh, we have the greats like Shakespeare and Byron, Eliot and Whitman, and apparently this random person who used only 6 letters with an ellipse as the title.  How quaint."
Reply
:iconinnoctemn:
innoctemn Featured By Owner May 9, 2014   Writer
I have to say, despite the fact that I honestly do write this way... This poem is VERY true! But sometimes less does mean a little more...
:]
Reply
:iconvarmine:
Varmine Featured By Owner May 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I believe the original poet whom I believed bought the style to popularity was skilled at it and gave it allot of meaning,due to their  talent others believed perhaps they could produce the same result using a style such as this,perhaps not all of the had the poetry skill to make it quite as good as that first artist.
So I don't believe the style is bad,I believe the poets are writing in a way that makes it look rather unappealing. 
Just a thought.
Reply
:iconlilysplash:
Lilysplash Featured By Owner May 9, 2014
Yes, I am, in fact, familiar with this style. X3 I find it amusing that you're challenging this sort of style.
Now, this? This is an utterly deep work of art that truly illustrates the depth of humanity itself.
*Slow applause* Just... beautiful. Clap 
Reply
:iconlimnoria:
Limnoria Featured By Owner May 9, 2014
This glorious piece of work has earned a place beside the Iliad.  :happycry:

Nice job. :D
Reply
:iconbasement-aviator:
Basement-Aviator Featured By Owner May 9, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You, sir, are a genius.

I recognize the style exactly. ;)
Reply
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